An creative non-fiction essay I wrote that managed to win 3rd place in an magazine. Meaning it is decent enough to share online without embarrassing myself online.
“Major sea-level rise caused by melting of Greenland ice cap is ‘now inevitable’ ”
“We cannot adapt our way out of climate crisis, warns leading scientist”
“Microplastics found in human blood for first time”
As I scroll through the latest articles detailing all the ways the planet is being ruined by humans, I wonder how it has come to this. Me spending my time reading and saving these articles about climate disasters as if in the future I am going to become a storyteller of lost civilizations, submerged cities, and decayed monuments [1].
““Doomscrolling” is slowly eroding our mental health”
Doomscrolling has become a time sink for me when I could be spending that time engaging in new hobbies. Drawing, programming, reading, writing, and boxing are all things I have been trying to pick up. Hobbies that require dedication, discipline, and huge investments of time compared to reading news article. One would find it hard to believe that reading doom articles could be a such time sink. Reading a newspaper for example only takes a couple of minutes. Hard to believe that something that takes a couple of minutes out of your day, could take a couple of hours out of mine. It is something we all have done especially during the time of covid and lockdowns. But for me it has become all consuming. It is similar to eating a pack of cookies: you don’t just stop at one. You eat one at a time and by the time you realize you’ve eaten the whole bag you think to yourself, “Next time I will show restraint.” Next time always being something I pushed to the distant future. It is no wonder I am still trying to learn these new hobbies. Doomscrolling is like fast food compared to a home cooked meal. I could spend the time preparing ingredients, cooking the food, and then washing up. Or I could just log onto Door Dash, click three times and have fast food delivered to my door[2]. It’s easy to get sucked into the vortex but hard to escape from it. Even when I do make a serious attempt to learn, whenever I think of the future I get doubts about whether it is useful to learn these skills when headlines constantly read like this[3].
“Vegetable Prices Soar 40% as Crops Fail Under Extreme Weather”
It also speaks to my apathetic attitude that I have spent most of my time learning about climate change but continue to do nothing to prepare for it. I guess I am still wondering if a future like this is worth it.
“’Climate grief’: The growing emotional toll of climate change”
In the beginning, I went through my own version of the five stages of grief as I learned how fucked we truly are. I was in denial climate change could be happening and so quickly. Anger that we haven’t done anything but pledge to do something in the future. Bargaining that the worst of climate change will come after my time. Depression that the worst will be in my lifetime and likely worse than the projected figures. Acceptance as I come to view climate change the same as death or taxes. Inevitable. But I have come to realize it is not stages I am going through but a never ending rollercoaster ride, never consistently going in one direction and never ending. Right now, the ride has begun the loop of acceptance or more accurately, apathy. Acceptance would mean I would move on with my life, but I haven’t with this constant doomscrolling. I have not moved on but settled into this abyss. Instead of committing to my interests and living life to fullest like some others who have accepted the inevitability of climate change have done, I continue to spend my valuable time doomscrolling. They have decided to not give up hope. They have decided to make the most of the time they have left. To travel around the world and experience its wonders but it is lost. To restart hobbies that they left behind or start new ones they always wanted to. To reconnect with lost family and friends and strengthen existing ones. To build or join resilient communities to stand against climate change and the inaction of our politicians. To love, to cherish, to grow despite what is coming. To see world leaders adopt the same plan of inaction as me is encouraging in a dismal sort of way[4]. A younger me would be furious that they continue to talk action but do nothing. But now, now I am glad I am not heading down this road alone[5].
“World heading into ‘uncharted territory of destruction’, says climate report”
The more I scroll, the more I realize that me living a post-civilization world would be like being a fish out of water. I have adapted to this world of stable climate and modern technology. I guess most of us have. No one really imagines that the life they have been living for so long is going to be upended. That the water will run out, the electricity will turn off, and that their homes will be destroyed. All the projected scenarios from scientists and experts seem to predict this and that is going to end poorly for someone like me who has become accustomed to the modern lifestyle[6]. Sea level rise, heat domes, increased natural disasters, political extremism, societal breakdown, and Mad Max biker gangs are all just unfathomable to me to the point that I see no point in trying to survive such a world. Maybe because I know that going solo, while my preferred choice, it is suicidal and someone like me only chance is in a group. It is the age-old debate of individualism versus collectivism. The rational strategy of joining a group and pooling resources is realistically my only choice but even then, for an anti-social person like me, it is still just as appealing as joining a bunch of cannibals. Having to deal with social climbers, backstabbers, gossip, and pointless drama in real life is already tiring now[7]. Going solo may be seem cool but in the real world there is no plot armor. In fiction, it looks so amazing to see the main character to see him go against all these obstacles as a lone wolf. In the real world there are no main characters and there is no central plot protecting the main characters until their happy ending. Even if this was a story, would I even be a side character[8]?
“Putin flirts again with grim prospect of nuclear war – this time he might mean it”
Ah, how could I forget about nuclear war? Humans seem intent on playing this stupid game of nuclear sabre rattling to win the ultimate prize: extinction. The age of the cold war may be over but that clock keeps ticking closer and closer to midnight[9]. Prepping for natural disasters is one thing, but how does one even prepare for a nuclear holocaust? The fallout alone would be impossible to avoid as the winds carry it all over the earth. A nuclear war would be so damaging that scientists had to invent a new term “megadeath”. The potential cool metal band name[10] aside the term “megadeath” refers to a unit of measure with one megadeath equalling one million deaths by a nuclear explosion. I remember a quote saying, “If the bombs drop, I pray they drop on me.” That quote captures the idea that nuclear holocaust so perfectly that death is preferable. Some may fool themselves in thinking they can prep for such things but I can’t delude myself that well[11]. “Duck and cover” won’t be my motto but “Drop and pray”[12].I do wonder if I will get to see the fireworks before I go.
“Scotland ‘snow-free’ for fourth time in six years”
“‘We have no dry land left’: impact of Pakistan floods to be felt for years”
“‘Doomsday glacier,’ which could raise sea level by several feet, is holding on ‘by its fingernails,’ scientists say”
As I scroll through more articles; I start wondering if this addiction to doomscrolling can continue. Endlessly scrolling through these articles and fantasizing about how a post civilization collapse world would look like. Valuable time wasted. Reading these articles isn’t going to change the future. The future of earth has been set by centuries of environmental devastation before my time. I can’t change that, but my future is still undecided. So maybe I should be using this time instead for hobbies that I always want to start. They say it takes a minimum of an hour a day to master a skill which doesn’t sound like a lot when compared to the countless hours I have spent depressing myself with these articles. I can only imagine the progress I would’ve made if I invested my time correctly[13]. What would my drawing skills look like if I spent that time practicing? I doubt I would’ve been Picasso good but still all that time I could’ve been decent. Instead of worrying when I should start, I should just start. Reminds me of a quote “The best time to start was Yesterday. The next best time is Now.”
I’ll start tomorrow….
“The mighty Mississippi is so low, people are walking to a unique rock formation rarely accessible by foot”
“Long COVID Experts and Advocates Say the Government Is Ignoring ‘the Greatest Mass-Disabling Event in Human History’”
“UN index shows living standards declining in 90% of countries”
“Is there any hope of humanity solving climate change in time, or are we doomed?”“Our Civilization
[1] “Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
[2] If they can get the door right. Seems like I am ordering food more for my neighbors than me.
[3] Learning new skills just loses its appeal when extinction is breathing over your shoulder, you know?
[4] What can be done today, can be done tomorrow. What can be done tomorrow, can be done next week.
[5] Misery sure does love company especially on a species wide scale.
[6] “Give them bread and circuses and they will never revolt.” – Juvenal
[7] “Oh my god, did you see the battle armor Stacy was wearing? So last season.”
[8] I’ll be lucky to be the token black friend and my pride would never allow that.
[9] As of writing it is 100 seconds to midnight.
[10] Sadly, for any inspiring musicians reading this, that name has been taken.
[11] Still trying to convince myself off my plan of going solo.
[12] Both have the same amount of effectiveness.
[13] Could have been a master basket weaver by now.